I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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