I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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