Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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