wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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