You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
