Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
