i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
