After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
