It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
