Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
