She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
