She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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