i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
