Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize