told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
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I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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