I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
