Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
