Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
