i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
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sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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