So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
