Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
