I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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