Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
