Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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