Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize