Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
handjob tips. give me some.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
