Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
