spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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