he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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