SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
