Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
