I need help removing her.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
