He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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