Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
