So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My balls are so social today.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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