remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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