coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
