She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
