i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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