just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
