babies were throwing up all over the place
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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