he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
