One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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