Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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