If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
