the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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