I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
