and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
