Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
