Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
