those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
