Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
