and you said cock pushups were impossible
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize