You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
