Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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