Screwed.edu
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
