remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
