im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
