do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
