you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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