I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
