He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
