I bet he comes in French.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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