i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
