I just made out with a guy for $7.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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