your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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