they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
