Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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