i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
