in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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